Are You at Risk

It's normal to feel angry or frustrated when you've been let down or betrayed. But anger and frustration don't justify violent action. Anger is a strong emotion that can be difficult to keep in check, but the right response is always stay cool.

Everyone feels anger in his or her own way. Start managing it by recognizing how anger feels to you.

When you are angry, you probably feel:

	muscle tension
	accelerated heartbeat
	a "knot" or "butterflies" in your stomach
	changes in your breathing
	trembling
	goose bumps
	flushed in the face

Here are some ways to deal with anger without resorting to violence:

Learn to talk about your feelings - if you're afraid to talk or if you can't find the right words to describe what you're going through, find a trusted friend or adult to help you one-on-one.

Express yourself calmly - express criticism, disappointment, anger or displeasure without losing your temper or fighting. Ask yourself if your response is safe and reasonable.

Listen to others - listen carefully and respond without getting upset when someone gives you negative feedback. Ask yourself if you can really see the other person's point of view.

Negotiate - work out your problems with someone else by looking at alternative solutions and compromises.

Anger is part of life, but you can free yourself from the cycle of violence by learning to talk about your feelings. Be strong. Be safe. Be cool.

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that's responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

	Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
	Imagine yourself at the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.
	Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

Keep telling yourself:

	"Calm down."
	"I don't need to prove myself."
	"I'm not going to let him/her get to me."